Silvet Sufar Shalit, PhD
Dr. Silvet Sufar Shalit is a graduate of the University of California, Berkeley. She is a certified clinical psychologist with twenty years experience in psychotherapy.. She works in a psychiatrist outpatient clinic and has a private practice. with twenty years experience in psychotherapy. Silvet studied acting in New York, freelances as a creative writer and is an accomplished photographer. Silvet Sufar Shalit is the mother of Eitan, a 20-year-old autistic young man.
Jack, 56, and Rose, 49, have been married for 25 years. They have three children aged 24, 21 and 19. Rose works as a financial advisor in a bank. Jack is a lawyer in a private office
Dear WholeFamily, My husband and I just got married a week ago. We've been together for almost 4 years. We live with his ex-wife, who is also my cousin, and their 3 children. His mother despises me and I don't know why. She called his ex on our wedding night, and told her that she's the ex-wife and I'm the new wife, and that she should hate me. She's always butting in where she doesn't belong. That's why we eloped -- she wanted to take over my wedding. She's always trying to talk my husband into leaving me. And she's always trying to pry in our lives by asking the ex-wife what's going on. How can I get her to back off??? Help!
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I will try to be as to the point and brief as possible. Three years ago my husband had an affair and a baby was conceived. The other woman is madly in love with him -- still to this day. He pays child support and has also been to visit his other child. I went to counseling two and a half years ago but he will not. My husband feels he does not want to talk to strangers about this. He also drinks too often and drives. I have asked him endless times to please stop before he hurts someone.
Dear WholeFamily, I have one question that I hope you can answer for me - How do I tell my super-sensitive husband that he is not giving me what I need sexually without hurting his feelings? Dear Wife of Super Sensitive Husband, You are not satisfied with what your husband is giving you sexually. You know what you need and don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. If your husband is "super sensitive" he will most probably be sensitive to your needs and willing to satisfy them if he were to know how. If you tell him what he is not giving you, his feelings may be hurt. But if you tell him what you do need, he will appreciate the trust you have in his ability to understand your needs and satisfy them.
This functional drama shows how good communication and deep intimacy in a relationship help a couple face a very delicate problem. Sexual issues are often a very sensitive area for couples. When there are sexual problems or difficulties and the partners do not openly discuss these problems, the couple may develop theories and suppositions about the nature of the difficulty. These are not necessarily based on reality or on correct information but instead often reflect the fears and anxieties of each partner.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I need information concerning my mother. She has been living with my husband and my two-year-old and me for almost a year. This is not the first time either. When my husband and I just married she moved in the first time. We wished then that she would have gotten her life together. My mother is divorced from a man, my father, who I am not close too. He was an abusive alcoholic. My mom and I have had a rough life together, between being homeless and physically and mentally abused.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband and I just had our second wedding anniversary. We've been together since 1992. We have a beautiful one-year-old baby boy. Although our son is only an infant, I felt I was reading our future story when I read the psychologist's comments about triangulation in the on-line drama "The Unemployed Son." Like in the drama, I feel as though I am the single parent who shares accommodations with my husband. I find I compensate for our failing marriage by dissolving my unhappiness in time spent with my baby boy. From the time I get home from my full-time office job until I go to sleep at night, he is my only priority. The result is a hollow realization that if I did not have my son in my life, I would be drawn to tears every evening out of loneliness and frustration with my marriage.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am obviously writing due to marriage problems. My question is what type of therapist is the type we need to work things out. A psychologist, a therapist, etc.? I am not sure what each specializes in, and what would be the best for us. My husband and I love each other, but have some issues in our marriage that need to be worked out. My husband feels that if we continue to stay together our marriage won't last.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have been married for three years now to a man who is really sweet but allows his mother to run his life. She wants him to help out with their business and pay him half of what he makes now. I have been totally against this from the beginning of our marriage. Because I have voiced my opinion on the subject (my husband tells his parents everything I say), his mother hates me with a passion. She has verbally abused me so many times in person and on the phone and my husband will not stand up to her. My children and I are not allowed to go with my husband when he goes over to their house or business. Not that I would even want to. But it is causing a lot of arguments lately as I feel he should not even want to go if we cannot attend.
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