Sex And Intimacy Marital QA
Sex and Intimacy
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I will try to be as to the point and brief as possible. Three years ago my husband had an affair and a baby was conceived. The other woman is madly in love with him -- still to this day. He pays child support and has also been to visit his other child. I went to counseling two and a half years ago but he will not. My husband feels he does not want to talk to strangers about this. He also drinks too often and drives. I have asked him endless times to please stop before he hurts someone.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, Since I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an abusive, alcoholic father, I realize this is part of the reason I continue to make poor choices for myself when it comes to husbands. I have been married to my third husband for six years (first husband --10 years and second husband --10 years). This is his fourth marriage. I'm ready to call it quits. My husband is an absolutely wonderful, charming, generous, fun-loving, popular, well-respected, community-minded man to the outside world.
Dear WholeFamily, I need some help! Nothing seems to make me happy anymore - the more I surroud myself with happy things, nothing seems to work. My husband and I have been married for 18 years and we have an 8- year-old and a 5-ear-old. I feel content most of the time, but lately my husband "seems to bring me down." I come from parents who divorced after 27 years and I don't like what divorce does to children, so I want to make this work.
Dear WholeFamily, I am 26 years old and have been married for about 10 months now. My husband and I lived together for 6 months before we were married, but before we moved in together we were about 1500 miles apart for the first year of our relationship. At that time, we saw each other once every 2 months or so. We were very much in love and had really great sex during that time. Once he moved in, we continued to have great sex fairly often for awhile.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am a 32-year female. I have been married to my husband now for five years. But I have lived with him over 10 years. And he knows all my problems and fears. See, when I was about five or six, one of my uncles and one of my mom's cousins did some ugly sexual things to me. And it caused a lot of problems for me. And the cousin did the things to me while I was sleeping. And this went on for a long time. So my husband knows this.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I've been married five years. My husband and I have three kids together and one from a previous relationship. From the beginning I have had trouble expressing my feelings toward my husband. I've always loved him but he says I 'm not loving and compassionate enough. The beginning of 1999 he had to work out of the country for six months When he returned he accused me of cheating, because I went out with friends more than usual.
Dear WholeFamily, What if the person you are interested in was your first love? My best friend is going through this, and she hasn't had the greatest marriage. Now that she is interested in her first love, hubby is all attentive and sweeping her off her feet! I advised her to continue to talk and be honest with her husband: to talk it to death basically. She seems to be getting worse "in love" with her first love, as she puts it. She has two kids in their teens who drive her crazy to add. One of her worst fears is insecurity and expenses. Let me know so I can help her better than I have been. Dear Friend, When a marriage has become routine and the teenagers are driving you crazy, it's very seductive when an old love reappears and gives you a taste of something fun and exciting.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have been married almost 8 years, with 3 children. I have not been the best husband. I have treated my wife badly. But I have come to realize this and she knows this. I have been doing better and she also agrees, but we no longer have sexual relations. Now we do have 3 children which has a lot to do with it and because of our work schedules it is hard. Sometimes she seems to want but when the kids are asleep then it changes.
Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I think my husband is really a pervert. He wants threesome, anal sex, pierced bellybutton and a tattoo. I don't want any of these. Then my husband said I don't really love him. He just can't accept my decision. I started disliking sex. I don't want to have sex rest of my life. He said I am closed mind. I am Japanese and my husband is American. Maybe culture gap or something. We are not open for sex. At least when I was growing up. I want my sex is private. I can't talk to anybody about this. Please give me your honest answer. Am I too conservative? I can't compromise these things. How can I make my husband understand my decision.
Dear WholeFamily, I have one question that I hope you can answer for me - How do I tell my super-sensitive husband that he is not giving me what I need sexually without hurting his feelings? Dear Wife of Super Sensitive Husband, You are not satisfied with what your husband is giving you sexually. You know what you need and don't know how to tell him without hurting his feelings. If your husband is "super sensitive" he will most probably be sensitive to your needs and willing to satisfy them if he were to know how. If you tell him what he is not giving you, his feelings may be hurt. But if you tell him what you do need, he will appreciate the trust you have in his ability to understand your needs and satisfy them.
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