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Monday, 29 November 2010

Letter to a Messy Husband

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The Wrong Way

Dear Slob,
How can I say this - you are a pig.

I am sick and tired of picking up your socks, putting down the toilet seat and hanging up the towel so it's straight over the shower rail.

I don't understand why you can't get through your thick head the location of the newspaper rack in the family room.If I see you looking for your damn car keys one more time while we're rushing to get out of the house, I'll tear my hair out - No, I'll tear YOUR hair out (what's left of it).

How in God's name are our children supposed to grow up to understand what neat and clean when they look at you?

You're what? "Neat challenged?" Is this a "guy" thing, like not knowing how to ask directions?

There are days I can't imagine how I ever ended up marrying you. I guess your roommate must have made sure you wore clean clothes while we were dating.

I wish I could say I'm hopeful but unfortunately, at this point, all that's left is to hope that the kids use me and not you as a personal role model.

Your Fed Up Wife

WifeSample letters written (in great fun!) by Toby Klein Greenwald, Director, WholeFamily Room

The Write Way

Dear Love,
I want to open by saying that I think you are one of the last true romantics in the world. Sometimes, during a hard day at work, I reach into my drawer where I keep that little bottle of perfume you bought me and I feel warm and tingly all over.

On the other hand, I'd like to take the liberty of sharing with you some of my frustrations.

I know you work very hard and help a lot in the house so I hope you don't mind my pointing these things out.

I would greatly appreciate it if you could remember, at least sometimes, to

  • Pick up your socks
  • Put down the toilet seat
  • Put the newspapers back in the rack
  • Hang up the towel right
  • Put your car keys in the same place

I know this is a long list but maybe you wouldn't mind trying these one week at a time.

I think it would also be helpful in our attempts to teach the children how to be more orderly.

I am confident that this is a very tiny hurdle and we will be able to scale it together.

Love always, and a kiss on your sweet balding head,

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