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Communicating Marital QA


Dear WholeFamily, My wife and I have been married for 3 years and our first child is due in 3 months. My wife has told me that she is not happy in our relationship and doesn't have the same love for me she had when we were engaged. We met with a marriage counselor to discuss this. I want to work things out and stay together. She wants a separation and then a divorce. The main issue has been that I have taken her for granted and put my other interests ahead of her.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am obviously writing due to marriage problems. My question is what type of therapist is the type we need to work things out. A psychologist, a therapist, etc.? I am not sure what each specializes in, and what would be the best for us. My husband and I love each other, but have some issues in our marriage that need to be worked out. My husband feels that if we continue to stay together our marriage won't last.

Dear WholeFamily, I've been with my spouse for almost fifteen years. Lately, we haven't been getting along at all!!! He'll tell me something for instance and a little while later tell me he never said it. Also, whenever I tell my opinion he tells me I'm wrong and only his opinion is the right one.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am a 50-year-old woman, been married for 13 years. There are so many problems in my marriage; I don't know where to start. My husband is very emotionally abusive. He says mean and cruel things like "You are so ugly, no wonder I can't stand you." He has belittled me so bad I have no self-esteem. We can't talk about much of anything especially my feelings. As long as I let him think he is always right, everything is fine.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I have a simple question for you. Am I a "control freak" for getting angry that my wife is alone with a single man in his apartment at 1 am? To me, this seems inappropriate and creates a dangerous environment. I feel very jealous and disrespected. Thank you, "Wondering If I Am a Control Freak" Dear "Wondering If I Am a Control Freak," The question you ask is clearly not as simple as you make it out to be.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, My husband and I can't seem to get along. For a while he went through a period of months of staying away from home and when he was home we either fought or he was asleep. He has sleep apnea and it seems chronic. He has a doctor that he sees for it and uses a cap machine but he won't wear it. You can tell when he doesn't as his sleep is affected. We have five children and this is also hurting them.

Dear WholeFamily Counselor, I am 42 yrs. old. I have been married for 11 years. My husband has 3 children from a previous marriage, and I have 1 son. Together we have a 10 year old. Our relationship was strained in the beginning over our children, but we seemed to be able to let go of a lot. Lately though my husband has become, for lack of a better word, paranoid. I can't even go see a concert with my nineteen yr. old son, who bought me the ticket, without my husband getting upset.

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