Marriage Your Voice

So there I was, 49 years old, after a first failed marriage, with no children, and sure that parenting was a closed book for me. And then-- "Guess what you are getting for your 50th birthday"-- said the love of my life. "By the look in your eyes, it is something really special," I replied. "Yes, you are going to be a father." I was thrilled by the idea. But being an only child myself, what did I know about babies? During the next nine months I learned a lot. I read all the books including Childbirth for Men. I went to the pre-natal class and puffed and pushed down with the rest of the class. As the due date got closer, I rented a crib, a wicker basket on wheels, and set it up in our bedroom.

Should we Stay Together for the Sake of the Children? We posted the following letter and asked how the rest of you feel about staying together in a bad marriage for the sake of the children. We are reposting the original question together with readers' reactions. If more of you wish to contribute, write us at: divorce@wholefamily.com Q"I've often heard that people, including psychologists, believe it is important for parents to stay together, even in a bad marriage, so the kids will benefit from having two parents, two role models.

You just have this expectation that when you return home from work, you'll find comfort, space, a little quiet and maybe a wife waiting to embrace you. A few minutes to yourself. A chance to unwind. I suppose I should be completely honest. Yes, to a certain extent, as accused by my wife, my brain does kind of tune out when I come home. When I come home, it is as if I am entering into someone else's work domain.

Have you ever fantasized about your dream vacation with your partner? Where does your imagination take you? What are the scents, sights, sounds and feelings associated with your daydream? I posed this question to our team of freelancers and staff. Enjoy this peek into their dream vacations. Camryn's Dream Vacation In my dream vacation I am naked in the water.

I told my husband the name I came up with for my column. "Trenches?" He looked a bit hurt. "Is this combat?" Hmmm, no. But it is sometimes a battle -- to keep the wonder from slowly leaking out of our union, our own identities afloat, and our feet firmly planted on the ground, all at the same time. Hopefully, though, we'll never be bored if we are in the foxhole together. * * * * * Getting Down-- to the Heart of the Matter I remember riding a bus with my husband as a married couple of two weeks, both of us barely twenty years old. We were groping at one another and whispering and giggling and, in general, acting like idiots.

1. Relate to your stepchildren as if they are your biological children. 2. Hug them and kiss them a lot. 3. Invest the same time and resources on your own children as you do on your step kids. 4. Always speak positively about your stepchildren's "other" parent or just keep quiet. 5. Be involved in your stepchild's life. Help them with their homework. Ask about their friends. 6. Share your life with your stepchildren. Tell them about your childhood. 7. Listen to your stepchildren; "check in" with them from time to time.

Michael Franklin's Story Background: Michael was 22 when he married Suzanne, 21. Michael met Suzanne while they were both in college. He had the lead in a play; she was one of the crew. They were married for two years before they divorced. Q: How did the romance develop? A: It was never a romance. It was just sex. We had a phenomenal time in bed.

So there I was, 49 years old, after a first failed marriage, with no children, and sure that parenting was a closed book for me. And then-- "Guess what you are getting for your 50th birthday"-- said the love of my life. "By the look in your eyes, it is something really special," I replied. "Yes, you are going to be a father." I was thrilled by the idea. But being an only child myself, what did I know about babies? During the next nine months I learned a lot.