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Thursday, 14 September 2000

How Far Should I Go? - Therapist's Open Letter to Chris

Written by  Ruby Wolbromsky, Ph.D.

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Chris, you're facing a real tough choice and I suggest you find someone who is understanding and wise; someone who can be both patient and helpful.

You're dealing with heavy-duty stuff and you need to talk. And soon!!

If there's a chance that your parents can be that "someone", then talk to them. Your parents may very well be the people who care most about you in this world. And they don't only care about your life today but also about your future. A lot of parents today are much more aware and understanding of the pressures that kids go through. Remember, it wasn't that long ago that we parents were kids and were faced with the same challenges that you are.

If you'd rather not discuss the topic of sex with your folks, then find someone else. Anyone whom you respect - a neighbor or aunt or teacher or guidance counselor or grandparent or psychologist.......

"Why?" you ask. Here are some of the things you need to discuss and think about:

  • When is it OK to Start Having Sex?
  • Does Rick really love me? Would any boy who loved me pressure me so much?
  • What do love and sex mean at my age?
  • How will having sex affect things like my relationship with my parents, siblings, friends, my reputation, and the way I feel about myself?
  • What if I get pregnant? Condoms aren't 100% safe! Even if there's only a slight chance, do I want to take it??
  • And what happens with school, my reputation, my health, my chances of getting pregnant in the future, abortions, etc., if I get pregnant?
  • What will all of this do to my emotions and about how I'll feel about sex in the future?
  • What makes boys tick and what kinds of boys do I like?
  • How much of my desire to have sex is really about the pressure I feel to be cool?

Sex is a heavy responsibility; it's not just a feel-good sport.
Hollywood and magazines have put too much sex on everyone's brain and as a result, they have cheapened it and also have hurt a lot of people.

Don't be one of those people.


And best of luck...

Last modified on Thursday, 22 March 2012 16:44
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Ruby Wolbromsky, Ph.D.

Ruby Wolbromsky, PhD, is a psychologist with more than 30 years experience, specializing in children and adolescents.

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